parts cowork home
SettingsDevices and sharingYour data: copy, restore, forget
About parts cowork
Help

In danger, or thinking about harming yourself? Stop here and talk to a person.

Call or text 988 (US)findahelpline.com, any country
Feeling far away? Back to the roomA quick look aroundReview the walksFor therapistsWhat this is, and is notPrivacy

Explore a sample system

After it got stirred up

For after a walk that stirred something up: notice what got triggered, get a little room from the part guarding it if you can, ask why it was so hard, and come back outside. Not going in this time is a real choice.

12 steps, drawn from 9 books on IFS.

Checked: each step was read against the book passages it rests on, and stays inside them.

Read every step first
  1. After it got stirred up. Sometimes a walk stirs something up. It is not uncommon to feel a little overwhelmed afterwards. Often, when something tender gets touched even slightly, the parts that guard it push back hard: they are afraid, or they may want to criticize you. It can help to know this might happen.
  2. How close is it right now? You do not have to go inside every time a part is stirred up. Pick the closest.
  3. Notice what is here. Notice what is happening in your body and your mind right now.
  4. With it, not in it. If a part that guards it got stirred up, see if you can notice it rather than be it. Ask it to separate from you just a little, so you can be with it without being it.
  5. Is there a little room? Pick the closest. Either answer is fine.
  6. Why this was so hard. If you can be curious about that guarding part from there, ask it why this was so hard for it. What does it want you to know?
  7. Where did its answer point? Sometimes a guarding part's answer is about now. Sometimes it points further back, at a younger part that got hurt. Both are worth knowing. Only one of them is for today.
  8. You are still here. As you stay with it, and not in it, see if you can reassure it that you are still here. Parts like this often believe you are much younger than you are, so remind it that you are not young, and that you can help it too. This is hard, and it can be scary for some of your parts.
  9. A long time. You might remind it that you have been taking care of it, and of yourself, for a long time.
  10. Back outside. When the time feels right, do whatever helps you shift your focus back outside. Tick each one as you notice it.
  11. How loud is it now? The same scale you used at the start. Protectors can push back afterward, and that is not uncommon. If one is louder, try getting curious about it rather than fighting it.
  12. Before you go. Thank the parts that showed up for whatever they let you know. You might want to stretch your arms and legs out, and move around a bit.
  13. Not now is allowed. You do not have to go inside this time. Distracting yourself, or soothing yourself, are choices too. Later, when you are on your own, you can come back to the part and hear its concerns.
  14. Seen, and not today. If a younger part showed itself, let it know you noticed it, and that you will not forget about it. You are not going to it today. That might be enough for today.