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One line for the critic

Notice the critic's voice, picture it as someone helping clumsily, say one honest line to it, and notice how it takes that.

6 steps, drawn from 5 books on IFS.

Checked: each step was read against the book passages it rests on, and stays inside them.

Read every step first
  1. Hear the critic. Notice the critic's voice right now: what it is saying, and its tone. You do not have to fight with it. It is a part of you whose job is to keep you safe.
  2. Clumsy help. Now picture the critic as someone trying to help and doing it badly, like a small child helping you cook and making a big mess. The mess is real. So is the wish to help.
  3. One honest line. Say one line to it, out loud or inside. Something like "I understand you are trying to help me", changed until it is true for you. Add thanks only if you mean it.
  4. How it lands. Notice how the critic takes that. It might soften, go quiet, or get louder. Any of those is worth knowing, and none of them means you did this wrong.
  5. How loud is it now? The same scale you used at the start. A drop is worth noticing, and no change is fine too: you spoke to the critic instead of only hearing it.
  6. Back to the room. Only if you sincerely feel it, thank the critic for whatever it allowed today. If you do not, that is okay. You can come back to it another time, only if you mean to. Then notice the room: your feet, what you can see.